Have you ever felt that there are people who never solicit your advice and even if you give them good advice they just don’t like receiving it, let alone follow or value it?

And yet, there are also people who just by themselves come to you for advice and always value it as well?

There are certain decisions in other people’s lives that you can directly influence or control because of your position (as a senior at work, as a parent, etc) but many others where you can only advice or teach if the other person is willing to take it. A lot of times, you find that people who you are closest to, do not seek or appreciate your capability to advice or teach, while almost strangers sometimes still value it.

I feel that to advice or teach someone, first we need to win people. Winning people may mean different things in different relationships. I feel for family, winning people with love, that is when they know you care for them and not manipulate them. With friends, you win them with your empathy, when they feel that you understand them. And at work, you win people with trust in your expertise, when they believe that your advice is backed with knowledge or experience. And once you win them, they may take your advice even in situations where they know they may not agree with you. That is the power you can have on people when you win them over.

This is how I feel, how about you?